so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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