i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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