i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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