Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if i can run in heels then i can drive
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
