You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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