I wanna bring you to show and tell
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
