Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Watching her eat just hurts me
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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