It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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