I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize