Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
