she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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