Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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