why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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