I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
