It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize