Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
