Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
