Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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