i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
