i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
