right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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