Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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