she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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