My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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