Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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