I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
