Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
