So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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