I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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