her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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