im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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