apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
