My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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