You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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