Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
