My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
