She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
