I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Enjoy the penises
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize