Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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