laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize