Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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