I want you more than these girls want KFC
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds