walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
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6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.