Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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