is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
