I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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