DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize