Need sex. Gaining weight.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
