he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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