you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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