I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
