i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
