Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
