I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
