I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
And then he peed in my hair
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