I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
