somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
