His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
