Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
