Pappa wants mamma naked
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
