They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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