yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
