She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
