Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
